Every parent of a GERDling has
heard it all. Well meaning, friends, family and even
passers-by will say anything they can think of to try to
help. It would seem as though they feel if they can minimize
the child's condition or convince the parents that the baby
is fine that is helping. In many cases the baby is actually
far from fine and although the comments are usually said
with the best of intentions they actually make most parents
feel worse. It makes them feel like no one understands and
totally invalidated. There are a few things that top the
list as the most aggravating and insulting things you can
say to a reflux parent. They are:
- Insert baby's name here, looks so
healthy, he/she can't be that sick.
- Oh my, look how big Insert baby's name here
is getting. (when the parent knows the baby hasn't
gained anything from the last pediatrician appointment)
- It's not that bad, it's just a little spit up.
- Stop worrying, they'll eat when they are hungry.
- My son/daughter was a picky eater too.
- You're overreacting, all babies spit up.
- Insert baby's name here isn't in pain,
it's just a little colic.
- It's just a little gas.
- This is because you didn't breastfeed.
- You should switch to formula, he/she is allergic to
your breastmilk.
- Babies don't get heartburn.
- Reflux is nothing.
Some more supportive alternatives to the above could be:
- Insert baby's name here, looks pretty
good now, is having a good day?
- How's Insert baby's name here weight
doing? Any weight gains lately?
- Has the spitting up gotten any better yet?
- Mealtimes must be so stressful for you, are you able
to get Insert baby's name here to eat
enough?
- We had a little trouble with getting our child to eat
at that age, but certainly nothing like what you are going
through. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.
- I know that spitting up is common in babies, how is
Insert baby's name here condition from that?
- I'm quite familiar with colic but how is his/her
condition different?
- He/she sounds gassy, I'm sure that's not helping
him/her feel any better.
- Perhaps a more hypoallergenic formula would help?
- Milk allergies can make reflux worse, have you tried
eliminating milk products from your diet?
- I didn't realize babies could get heartburn.
- Can you tell me more about the severity of his/her
condition?
The second set of comments are much more supportive. Help
let the parents know that although you may not understand
how difficult things are you really want to
understand and won't minimize their struggles. Let them know
you care and are concerned.
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